So this is just one entry from a blog.. :P
Saturday, October 30, 2004
Uffh.. It's been a tough boring week. I've been waiting all week to get to this weekend and get a rest from those school stuff. And I still get bored. What a happy life.
My friends got their own problems (just like the way i do too). And their problems were basically centered on one subject. If it isn't about their love life, it's about school. This time they turn their backs on each other, talking nasty things about each other because of one thing, the stupid yearbook. You know, the one I got kicked out of? Well, back to the mean girls thing. A friend of mine, D, which is in the same class of mine, is having this problem with the head of the yearbook committe, P. Some stupid problem about getting the fund for our yearbook. D said that the yearbook cost too much and she said that she might not get the money for it. So, she took kinda brave but selfish step by looking for another production house for the yearbook, which has her boyfriend working in it. She told almost everyone about how she hated P for not caring about the fund raising team. She also told me, that she did that because the production house that she offered to us has lower price, therefore it would be easier for her to raise the money. But, we also know the other reason for her to pick that decision. Yeap, she wanted to be with her boyfriend more often. And working with him means more time with him.
From that story, we know that D was wrong. But since P is a known bitch for everyone in our school (Well, almost everyone). People starting to make fun of P behind her back and then supporting what D did, even though it might not be the right choice. And as for me. I never liked P that much, so I was pretty much on D side. Yea well, we were close friends before but then she crossed over that line and I just don't want to be as close to her as before. Maybe I was wrong for picking on sides, but I really don't want to be stuck in the middle.
But then I got this whole new story from one of my best friends, W. She happens to be on P side. She honestly said that waht D did was wrong, childish, and selfish. She also said that she hate her. From this point, I got confused. I am SO stuck in the middle.
...and I'm not even gonna be in that yearbook!
*sigh*
I needed a friend and all I have left was him. So, now I spend most of my time with him. And I feel like I'm losing a friendship with my friends, I mean, they all have their own big problems which I don't need to deal with and I just feel like I don't belong with them anymore.. This feeling sucks, but that's just it.
Since all I have left was him, I'm trying my best to keep our realtionship at the best. And I think I did it well. But then another trouble comes into my life. My Dad and my stepMom feels like it was best for me to like let go my relationship with him. Since I am moving away next month, they thought we shouldn't be serious and just let it go. I don't agree with them.
Even if he's not the one for me, my feelings for him are strong. And the fact is, even if someday we got apart, I will never ever forget this feeling.
Oh god, I am so full of shit..
out of the darkness and into the sun 4:58 PM